Entry #7 - NCM 2010 : Pretty Me (Digi Scrap)

I have been very down the whole day yesterday :(

My parents never forced me to clean all my life - en toto dependent on househelpers. But when it comes to my own room I remember I'm the only one who WILL clean it coz I get mad when they touch anything in my room.

I became aware of cleaning when I was 22yrs old. I started to fix our home .... buy stuffs to decorate together with my mom .... sew curtains with my mom. My parents had to warn me due to my scoliosis and they were right I get lots of attacks everytime I clean. Good thing I'm not asthmatic =)

I was taught how to iron and wash clothes at the age of 25yrs old much to my mom's objection. A first cousin from father's side who is so close to me devoted her time just to show and teach me. My mom cried bucket and buckets of tears while watching me do such chores. I had fun though!

When my parents died I was left with my brother who really took care of me - actually spoiled me more =)

NOW, here in Sweden I have to do everything coz hubby is dead tired form work managing 2 of our companies everyday. I only iron his clothes and I have to do it in batches coz I'm lazy hahahahahhahahaha. I wash clothes (thanks to washing machine) if I see it's piling. I clean the house thoroughly quarterly and mind you it takes a month to accomplish my mission. Hubby never complains but I know it would make him feel wonderful when he comes home to a very clean home. Ha! With a 6yr old boy around who is so creative and playful one can just be frustrated in cleaning =)

I feel I'm a bad wife :(
I feel that I'm so dumb when it comes to cleaning and organizing :(
I feel so down coz it's like no matter how much I clean it never ends :(
I feel so down coz I don't exactly know where to start :(
I feel so down coz after sorting things, I have no idea where to store it :(
I feel so down coz I get stressed - time is not friendly to me coz I need lots of time in a day to accomplish my cleaning project :(
I feel so down coz I don't see my face anymore : I think I'm ugly and fat nowadays that I refused to look at the mirror worried to see a monster :( Cleaning and organizing makes me so dirty!!!!

I have been sitting in my craft room tinkering my laptop and took a lot of effort to create a digi scrap of me. I'd rather think that I'm still pretty and sexy in the eyes of my hubby so reversing how I originally feel about myself just to avoid or deplete the negative aura I have since this morning, I created a digital Layout shouting that I'm pretty.

Here's how it looks like:

Digital Kits Used: Spring Garden by Mira Designs
Sassy Lass Elements by Raspberry Road Designs