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Depression .... Anxiety

Bear with me as I take courage of writing down why I have been away and inactive in any of my sites.  I actually don't know how and where to begin as I sit and write this blog.

Am I in mid-crisis?  Nope =D

Depression and anxiety started before my "mammografi" (that's how we say it here i Sweden).  Aside from the fact that my mom died of breast cancer a decade ago, I just can't bear that there is a risk that I die and leave my DH and son behind :(

What really triggered my sadness is that ...... remember the wedding invitations I created for a client?
She had her breast surgery 2 weeks ago!!!

She had her mammo .... then after less than 2 weeks she got a letter stating about the findings - she has to go back and do a biopsy since they found something on her RIGHT breast.  She went back and had biopsy and the result was negative.  Then she was told that they will take an ultra sound on her chest/breast just to make sure.  Guess what?  They found 3 cysts on her LEFT breast and armpit which were not found during the mammo

Her wedding is on July 24th and we were invited.  It was a funny feeling finding an invitation inside our mailbox which I created =D

Anyway, my big question now is how accurate and reliable is mammo?  Why can't we just have an ultra sound which they say is clearer and accurate?  I asked them after my mammo but they couldn't give me an answer :(  All they say is that UL is just a complement to M.  I still don't get it.  Imagine, they did not see the lumps on her left breast during the mammo but found something on her right which was negative after all.  What if they did not see anything at all during the mammo?  That bride-to-be will still be going around everyday carrying a time bomb inside her body!

My mammo procedure went fine and a friend was with me that time.  I was told that results will be released after 4 to 5 weeks.  Gggggggggggggrrrrrrr the waiting game is such a pian in the butt!!!   Last friday as I checked our mailbox, I saw an envie and I was really shaking coz why would I get a letter from them so soon ... 2 weeks has just passed.  Oh well, I got the results and I'm clear.  Should I be happy?  yes I am happy =D  Should I doubt the results?  Kind'a!  I'd rather make an appointment for an ultra-sound this summer.

As of this writing I'm in a way back to my usual and I really Thank my husband for loving me during situations like this.  He showered me with craft goodies every now and then just to cheer me up.  He also made an appointment for general check-up and once again we thank God for the results were all clear except for one day with high blood pressure due to stress.  It was funny seeing him wearing an apparatus attached to his body for 24 hrs monitoring blood pressure.  He couldn't come near me fearing that blood-pressure will shoot up (wink, wink) hahahahahahaha.

Whew!  Now it's out of my chest and thanks for reading =D



4 comments:

Blissful Nibbles said...

awwwww ate... must be one of those days when your hormones just go berserk adding more emotion to your already disturbed state. i hope everything will be well for you and your family. :)

i found the last parts of this article funny. bp shoot up eh? hahaha :D talaga naman... humirit pa. haha

Thanni said...

I've been through that same procedure with the mammografi and all some years ago - so I know how it is with all the thoughts and anxiety :(
...but it's so good to read that you're ok :)..Hugs!

JEROSHA ÄRETUN said...

ay naku iha - iwas talaga sya hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha. Thanks for your sweetness!

JEROSHA ÄRETUN said...

Hi Thanni! It was a horrible part of my life and praying that I will get negative results on check-ups like this. Hugs to you, too =)

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